Babysitting

AKA (Why I Mix Instead of Produce)

Whenever anyone would ask me what I did, I used to say professional babysitter. It’s not been far off the truth sometimes. I think part of this job is looking after people. Sometimes it will be the artists, the producer, assistant, sometimes the studio owner and sometimes your own ass.

In what other job would your drunken client steal a case of beer, trip over the mantle of the doorway, and face-plant into the studio floor knocking himself out cold? Of course, this guy chose to rob the store directly opposite the studio, so I had to hastily return the beer and make sincere, apologetic noises to the irate Indian shopkeeper who was on the phone to the police. If nothing else, this job will help you develop your people and/or zoo keeping skills.

Perhaps you'll show up as the studio owner scrubs Pete Doherty's blood off the walls with a sponge and you'll have to advise he wears rubber gloves after all to prevent potential blood borne health shenanigans. He was in his blood painting phase which was sweet, but let's not take too many chances, eh?

You may have to try to rescue hapless kids transporting gear across a road which happens to be in use mid city marathon. That was good. A double cabinet bass stack weaving its way through a torrent of half delirious runners is a sight to behold. City marathons, really... WHY is that a good idea? We have rock & roll to make.

When Sessions Get Remote, Things Get Weird

There are also really serious things that happen. The longer and more drawn out the session, and the more remote the studio, the weirder it gets. I remember once recording in a remote farmhouse in Wales. About 4 hours after we arrived the police showed up at the door as the post office got robbed shortly after our arrival... no, of course it wasn't us, but we were viewed with deep suspicion after that.

I'm glad they didn't come back as the band had discovered mother nature had decided to place us in a field full of magic mushrooms, and things didn't get any less weird that week. My former recording school lecturer who came along to see how I was doing in the recording world would march in every twenty minutes or so and say:

”Eat these.”

...handing the band a dose of freshly picked magic mushrooms. He was the voice of reason and professional experience, after all. It quickly turned into some kind of lord of the flies sh*t.

The Heavy Stuff: Studio Counseling

Another time I recorded a record with a famous band who I loved since I was a kid, but it was miserable. The bottom line was at that time the singer was no longer into it, didn't want to come to the studio, and seemed to only communicate via his wife. The rest of the band were feeling as if it was game over, and mortgages, lives and so on were on the line so that felt like one long counseling session.

The singer DID show up after a number of false starts, and we got on great as it happens, which didn't seem to sit well with the other main musical force of the band who for some reason seemed like he wasn't really allowed in the room when we were recording. It did not have a positive effect on our relationship, as I was clearly in cahoots with the enemy. In reality I was Switzerland all the way - I wanted to get this album done, and not fail. I don't know why I cared so much, I was only officially the engineer, but nobody else was steering the ship. Pretty quickly I got the singer to engage in the game of "What would this guy do"—loosely speaking develop an alter ego freeing yourself from your own constraints, then performing as THAT guy.

For me it was the best part of the process, actually fun. So, we managed to wrap it up, then they left, got someone else to mix it (horribly) and I never spoke to them again.

The Post-Project Crash

That's another common thing; the anxiety at the end of a project. There is relief, sure, as by the end you're tired and have usually had enough (easily fixed by taking a few days break - which you never do, because hey - deadlines!) but there's also a sense of loss as you have been with people 24/7 become close and now... nothing. Maybe you'll see them again next album cycle? Who knows. In any case, that feeling of being with people then...not - always seemed to me to bring some element of grief.

I'd hold all this stuff inside me and assume it was my malfunction, but I remember sitting at an airport about to fly home with the producer, Philip I was working with and saw the effect having a simple conversation with the lady at the check in desk physically affected him. Even two weeks with a lack of feminine energy can mess with your head.

I'd struggled with depression through this period, and really have no idea how I made it through.

Chasing Bands With Shotguns

There is a famous tale of Julian Cope tripping on LSD at Rockfield and chasing the band across the fields with a loaded shotgun—which the studio owner gave him. He'd been one of my clients for quite a while, I was working there, and got on well with Kingsley (THAT studio owner!) As hard as I tried to get to the bottom of this legend, his mind seemed a little conveniently fuzzy on the topic. Next time I was working with Copey I finally asked him whether it was true, and as usual he bestowed me some wisdom: "never confirm or deny anything" so, naturally I can't comment on whether or not that happened.

I know for sure a few cars were left upside down in ditches during the odd recording session, and yes—at least one singer died on the way to the studio on my watch.

I have spent a lifetime surrounded by the beautiful, chaotic weirdness of the recording studio. Sometimes it’s pure fun; sometimes it’s absolute hell. As long as it leads to great music, it’s worthwhile.

But it’s also the exact reason I prefer to MIX rather than produce these days.

In the mix room, I get to focus entirely on what matters most: making your music sound massive, emotional, and pristine without having to return stolen beer.

If you’re looking for a mix engineer for your next record who has seen it all, survived the trenches, and knows how to bring the absolute best out of your tracks... I know a guy. (Me!)

[Drop me a message anytime right here at Deluxe Mixing], and let’s talk about your next project. Let's make some rock & roll.